Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
