Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
