I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
