I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
