He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
