My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
