Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
