Whoa Z and x make the same sound
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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