I want to have your abortion
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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