from now on my penis is your penis
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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