do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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