the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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