fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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