Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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