i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
