Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
