Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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