Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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