Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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