Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
