it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
