did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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