Whod you bang
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
