I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
