I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
