I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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