After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Come see our sink grown plant.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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