the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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