They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
