shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
