this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We are two peas in an std pod
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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