ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
