I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Farmville is her only friend.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize