He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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