____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
