Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize