are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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