I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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