we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
