that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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