after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
