You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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