Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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