the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I think my moral compass just broke
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