when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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