she kept yelling 'call me bella'
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
