Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
