how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
