There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
