you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
