She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
