Why does Corona taste like a burp?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
