I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Randomize
