im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
