no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
