Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
