i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
