You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Green mimosas i think yes
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
