Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.

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(443): View more from Maryland

He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

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(604): View more from British Columbia

True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?

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(212): View more from New York

How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?

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(573): View more from Missouri

Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.

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(708): View more from Illinois

You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.

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