This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i just had sex bonerless
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
