before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
