that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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