maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it hurts more in the daytime
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
